Bonjour! Welcome to Paris's* Finest*** Lunch Delivery
*Paris, Texas | ***According to our own very reliable internal survey
Notre Menu du Jour
A magnificent croissant, definitely not from the supermarket. Hand-crafted by artisans (we're pretty sure Costco counts as artisanal). Served with "butter" and jam.
Traditional French onion soup, prepared using a recipe passed down through generations (of Google searches). Topped with genuine cheese-like product and "croutons" that might activate your dental plan.
A premium baguette sandwich filled with jambon, fromage, and other words we know in French. The baguette is artisanal (purchased within the last 48 hours).
Fresh greens from Nice** with tuna, olives, and eggs. **We assume the lettuce drove through Nice at some point. Très healthy, très expensive!
Chicken braised in red wine (the good stuff from the bottom shelf). Served with pommes de terre (that's French for potatoes, in case you didn't know).
Mineral water imported directly from France (or possibly just regular tap water in a fancy bottle with a French label we made ourselves).
A sophisticated red wine from a vineyard somewhere in France. Trust us, we're experts. Notes of grape and... other grape-related flavors.
The most pretentious cookies you'll ever overpay for. Delicate almond meringue sandwiches that cost more per bite than your car payment. Perfect for Instagram! You get 3.
Votre Panier
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Ce Que Disent Nos Clients*
*Clients may or may not be real people
"C'est magnifique! I almost believed it was real French food!"
"The prices are so high, it must be authentic!"
"I've never been to France, but I imagine this is what it's like."